Our Son

“This act is as ancient as any tree growing in every and any direction

in the gleaming of the sun you are my son. This act is as ancient as any bee gathering pollen to make herself some honey. The bud we have chosen blooms eternally in the gleaming of the sun you are my son. “- Trousers

One year ago I gave birth to my beautiful son Finnegan. At 5:21 in the morning and after 31 long, hard, agonizing hours our son, with his first breath came to greet us. As I sit here and think back on that day, I feel very happy. Happy he was born, happy he was healthy, happy that he IS healthy, happy that we finally have our boy that we worked so very hard to get.

I thought I would take this time to share my story. It is a rather unique one. Maybe it will touch someone in some sort of way; give them hope or reassurance in preparation for their big day, perhaps someone who is already a mother will take a few minutes to smile and reminisce about the day their child was born.

It was around 11:30 at night that I started to feel my first labor pains. I made myself a bath, packed a few last minute things in my bag and got comfy on the sofa with a movie. I knew there was no way I would sleep; at this point I was way too excited. I decided to wake my husband at about 3am and decided to call my midwife. She told me to get some sleep and call her again at 7. 7 could not come quick enough. The pain was rather intense. At 8 am we headed to our chosen birthing center- Labor of Love-*, called our mothers and gave each other a big hug. I was only two centimeters when we arrived and my water still had not broken. With our parents and Duala by our side the pain got stronger and the contractions got closer. My husband and I took a walk down by the water behind the birthing center to help things get moving. Nothing was happening, just lots and lots of pain. The midwife politely asked our family to leave for a bit to give me some privacy. I was having a hard time making any progress. Maybe I was nervous, maybe I was worried or maybe I just needed a little space. While they were gone I dilated two more centimeters. Four centimeters and half way through the afternoon, the midwife decided to break my water. At this point we were thinking that it wouldn’t be much longer before things started to speed up and we would be able to have our little boy with us. Wow! were we wrong. Still nothing was happening. The pain was so bad that I started to get scared and thought that something was horribly wrong. I could hear people whispering, people telling me to “sit this way” or “lay that way”. I just wanted this to be over and to be home in my bed.  My midwife was telling me that if I didn’t start progressing over the next few hours we would have to go to the hospital. This scared me more than anything. I did NOT want to go to the hospital. I knew that a hospital would force a C-section, drugs and things that I was not okay with. Things that were against what my husband and I both believed in and wanted. At this time, around 9pm they brought in another midwife so that the others could go home and get some rest. As the new midwife came in, I knew that she would be my saving grace.

She put me in the tub and told me that I would have this baby HERE, if I really wanted to. They were keeping a very close eye on me and the baby, making sure we were both stable and that our hearts were strong enough to take on what was about to happen. She told me that the reason why I was not progressing and I was feeling such intense pain was because the baby was turned the wrong way. His head was pushing against my back, giving me horrible back labor. If this was not bad enough, he was also tilting his head, making it difficult for him to move down into the birth canal.

As I sat with my husband by my side in the tub- the tears rolling down my face, everyone surrounding me- I dug deep inside myself to find a strength I didn’t think I had. My husband put my face in his hands and lovingly told me that I could do this, I made up my mind to do whatever I had to do to get this done. I knew this was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do but I also knew that this was the only way (for me at least). I was not going to budge on what I felt was the right way. So I got out of the tub and moved to the bed. My midwife and nurse made me do all kinds of crazy positions during each contraction, allowing the baby to turn and move down. I thought I was going to die and at times I thought I was already dead. It was so intense, so unreal yet so real. With the help of my midwife, my two nurses, my Duala and my wonderful most giving husband we got our baby to turn. Finally at 3:30 in the morning and at only 8 centimeters I was ready to push my baby out. There was no way I was waiting for ten; I had to push and I had to push right now. After two hours of pushing, our son Finnegan was born at 5:21am February 8, 2011. He is perfect, he is beautiful, he is ours and he is finally here! Welcome Finnegan Sean!

 This was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do and probably ever will do, but I had a great support team and the strength and grace that they all lent me was truly beautiful and satisfying. I felt free. I felt relieved. I felt like I had just conquered the world. My son is truly my greatest triumph!

This experience taught me that, no matter what trials you may face and no matter how large or difficult they may seem, you can achieve your goal! No matter what challenges you may face during labor, just remind yourself that chances are it may not always go exactly according to your plan. Listen to your body, listen to your baby, work together and most importantly don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't do it, because you can and you WILL!!!!! And don't let anyone make you feel crazy for choosing a certain way to labor or a certain way to birth your baby. You are a women and a mother. You have a right to do it the way you want to!

Happy birthing!
 *http://laborluv.com/dunedin_birth_center.html

Garbage Soup

In our house we only go food shopping twice a month. I get everything we need for those two weeks and leave a little bit of extra money aside for any staples that we may run out of: milk, bananas, baby puffs, etc. But it seems that a day or two before food shopping we don’t really have much to eat in the house as far as dinner goes. There is always an onion, a few carrots, a few cups of dried beans or a can of tomatoes stashed in the back of the pantry, or something of that nature. So I like to take these opportunities to clean the fridge and make room for the new, yummy goodies.

I got this idea from my grandmother, Hunna. She was always a pro in the kitchen, always cooking up somethin’ tasty. As a child, I can remember making my first shepherd’s pie in her kitchen at the age of seven. Although I hate shepherd’s pie to this day, I will forever have fond memories of Hunna’s kitchen. Her recipe box now sits proudly on my counter top. It’s my tiny box of treasures that I turn to on days that I need inspiration or some good comfort food. Among those recipes, and one of my favorites, is her Garbage Soup.  This was Hunna’s way of making room for her food shopping trip. Here is her recipe:

Hunna’s Garbage Soup

Cook your choice of meat (ham hock, chicken, or other) with bone in 2qts. water with 1 chopped onion and 1 Tbsp. salt. Cook for 2 hours.

Add:

2 cups tomatoes

¼ head chopped cabbage

¼ cup rice or barley

5-6 sliced carrots

2 cups green beans

1 cup diced potatoes

½ cup chopped celery

Fresh parsley to taste

Cook for another hour

Just about once every two weeks I make my own version of Garbage Soup. It’s always different, yet exciting. This is what I came up with today:

1 cup dried navy beans

1 cup dried red kidney beans

1 cup dried garbanzo beans

1 chopped onion

1 chopped green pepper

½ cup sweet fresh corn

1 cup of sliced fresh okra

1 baby butternut squash (de-seeded and chopped)

2 Tbls. leftover taco seasoning

2 Tsp. dried Cumin

Salt and pepper

8-10 cups water

Add everything to your crock pot. Cook on low for about 6-8 hours. Add water if needed through the cooking process for desired thickness.

Serve with fresh bread or tortilla ships and a dollop of sour cream.

Happy cooking!

Let's Talk Dirty

So let’s talk dirty, dirty laundry that is. It seems like no matter how much laundry I do there is always more awaiting the wash. There is always a dirty sock that gets left behind on the way to the laundry room or a dish rag left over from cleaning the highchair after lunch. No matter what, there is always laundry that has to be done. Off the long list of weekly to do’s, laundry is one that I don’t mind too much. I find it somewhat relaxing and I look forward to it most of the time. We made the decision of not having or using a dryer. One reason for this is that it saves us a butt load each month on our energy bill, it’s better for the earth, and the best part is the clothes smell oh so good!

In our household we try to do everything as natural as possible and we also try to do most things ourselves, including laundry. So I just wanted to share some helpful tidbits, and a few things that I enjoy. For starters I would like to say that laundry soap is SO unbelievably expensive, something that I am just not okay with. I much rather spend my money on something else, like a good bottle of wine or a new book for our son Finnegan. Plus laundry soap containers produce waaaay too much waste for me. This website, www.reduce.org has a lot of cool tips for that sort of thing.  So I decided to make my own laundry soap. In the search for the perfect recipe, I found and tried many that I liked. I decided to take a few recipes and combine and modify them to make my own.  I have two that I like to use. Here they are:

Basic Laundry Soap Powder

4 cups Arm & Hammer Washing Soda

1 cup Borax

1 cup baking soda

2-3 cups shaved Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap bar (you may find many scents at any local health food store)

Mix all ingredients together and store in an air tight glass container (cutting down on those wastes).

Use ½ cup per average load.

Makes about 24 loads.

 Basic Liquid Laundry Soap  (huge money saver)

4 cups of hot tap water

1 Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap bar (any sent)

1 cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda

½ cup Borax

*Grate soap bar and add to sauce pan with hot water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until all soap is dissolved and is melted.

*Fill a 5 gallon bucket or container (I use a Rubbermaid container with a lid) half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved.

*Fill bucket to top with more hot tap water. Stir and cover. Let sit, while stirring occasionally over night so it can thicken.

OPTIONAL-Add 10 to 15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap is cooled.

Front load washers-use 1/4 cup per load (recipe makes about 640 loads)

Top load washers- use 5/8 cup per load (recipe makes about 180 loads)

SO THAT’S IT! SUPER EASY! RIGHT?

Laundry Room Must Haves…

*Vinegar – bleach alternative (works great for my son’s cloth diapers) also can be used as a fabric softener

*Lemon juice – white’s brightener

*Borax – pre treater for tuff stains (pore about a tsp. on the stain and scrub)

*Hydrogen Peroxide – pre treats blood stains

*Essential Oils – Lavender is great for towels, sheets and baby or kid’s things. Eucalyptus or peppermint is great to wash sheets or blankets with when someone is feeling under the weather.

*Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap Bar – pre treater (wet bar and gently rub onto the stain)

*baking soda- fabric softener (make sure you let it dissolve in the water before adding your items. Use ½ for every load.)

*clothes pins and extra hangers

Laundry Money Saving Tips…

*ALWAYS wash laundry in cold water

*use the shortest cycle possible and don’t over stuff your washer

*hang laundry to dry whenever possible

*make your own laundry products

Something else that really helps me keep up with the laundry is that I try and designate a different day of the week for different types of laundry. This really helps me stay on top of things and helps me not feel like my life is just one big load of laundry. I have a day for bathroom and kitchen towels, sheets, cleaning rags and towels; a day for adult clothes; a day for baby clothes and baby related items and a day for blankets and other household things such as pillow covers, rugs, dog beds and such. And every other day I do a load of my son’s cloth diapers.

So that’s it in a nut shell. I think we covered most everything. Happy washing!

Cock-a-doodle-doo

So its official, we will be adding a few new members to our family in just a few short months. Yes you heard me; the Duffy’s are finally getting chickens! We could not be any more excited if we tried. It has been a major goal in our family’s farming experience. Back when we lived on the homestead with our espoused family- the Sullivan’s- we had many chickens, each with a name and their own unique personality. They were far more than just pets or animals; they were members of our family, beaming joys. We provided for them so they provided for us. What an amazing feeling it was to be woke by the subtle clucks of our dear friends, slowly pulling ourselves out of bed, rustling around clumsily to locate our shoes to head outside to start the day- First stop; feed the chickens. We had to leave our feathered friends behind when we left the homestead. But now it is our turn to start our own chicken clan.  We cannot wait to teach our boy about them, what they can do for us and our family and what great joy they can bring.